Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
