i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
