I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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