I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
