Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
