sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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