How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
