In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
