I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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