dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
