Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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