i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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