Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
