He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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