Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize