There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
