Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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