I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
