dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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