Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
