Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
