i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
