He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize