problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
