so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
