Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
no, he came in my armpit
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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