you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I didn't notice because vodka
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
