not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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