I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
