Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
