How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
