We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
