She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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