so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
