Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
