i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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