We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
