you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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