Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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