I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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