I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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