I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My pussy is not your playground.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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