there's paper in my vomit.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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