my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize