Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need a beard to bite.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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