what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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