I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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