what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
