If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
