I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
