once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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