dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
