Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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