We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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