Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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