But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
