Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
