How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
