I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize