the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
