Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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