Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think my moral compass just broke
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
